Florida Woman Fights State to Keep Clothes-Wearing Pet Gator Named Rambo

Though one might assume that alligators get nothing but the royal treatment down in the magical land of opportunity known as Florida, one woman and her human-esque pet gator are sadly learning otherwise. Mary Thorn, proud owner of a 15-year-old gator named Rambo, is now battling Florida Fish and Wildlife authorities to keep her beloved friend. Rambo recently achieved a new length of six feet and is now legally required to have 2.5 acres of land of his own, the Associated Pressreports.

"Everyone will tell you that I treat that animal like a baby," Thorn told the Orlando Sentinelon Tuesday of her trained companion. "He doesn’t do anything a normal gator does." Thorn is right. Instead of partaking in the usual gator festivities, Rambo is busy having his own bedroom filled with his own clothes. Occasionally, a Lakeland local might spot Rambo cruising around on the back of a motorcycle. When he’s not busy living the Floridian dream, Rambo also visits schools and charity events to show them what it’s like being the dopest reptile in town.

Rambo has remained a licensed resident for more than a decade, though his current length problem leaves him in a bit of a legal pickle. According to Thorn, the 125-pound gator couldn’t even use the 2.5 acres required by law because he has a sensitivity to sunlight due to being raised using a "filtered light environment." According to local officials, Thorn and Rambo's case is still under investigation. Thorn, however, is already feeling the pressure. "Without him, I don't feel like even wanting to go on," Thorn told the Sentinel.

Let Rambo live in peace!