Tracee Ellis Ross Explains Why Older Men’s ‘Toxic Masculinity’ Leads Her to Date Younger

On the latest episode of IMO with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson, actress Tracee Ellis Ross opened up about why she "often" chooses to date younger men.

At around the 15-minute point of the episode, Tracee opened up about her dating life and explained she gravitates toward younger men because of the toxic masculinity she typically sees exhibited by men around her age. She recalled saying she dates younger men when she went to dinner with Michelle and her husband, former President Barack Obama, and he asked her why.

"We're across the table and your husband goes, 'But why?'" she laughed. "And I said, 'Well, maybe because I can.' ... I had to ask myself that question. I was like, 'What is this about?' Because I want a partner—and it's not just that I'm older, I'm also very embodied. I am a full, very whole person. Who knows myself, who is in charge of my life and lives a very full, robust life. So it's not just age, it's like, life experience is sort of a difference. But I had to ask myself the question, 'Why? Why does this keep sort of coming up other than they're hot and gorgeous?' But a lot of men my age are steeped in a toxic masculinity and have been raised in a culture where there is a particular way that a relationship looks."

She said that whenever she gets a sense that a man might have a rigid idea of what a relationship looks like, she's no longer interested. "I did enough of it, where I was controlled and felt like I was a possession or whatever those things were," she continued. "I have no interest in it and I will not do it again."

Craig asked her if it's a "generational" thing, and she admitted it was a "generalization" but she's seen a clear difference after dating men her age and younger men. "There is a difference, there is an openness that occurs with a younger man," she said. "Whether it's gender fluidity, not even having an issue with homosexuality. I mean, something as basic as that. There's times where I'll be sitting across the table from somebody and just like, 'What did you just say? Oh my God.'"

Tracee, 52, said she's "long past the age" where it's her place to teach or encourage a potential partner to be more understanding or mature. "I mean, there's so many different philosophies on dating, and I have come up with mine," she said. "And I have come up with mine. I have come up with what works for me and what makes sense for me and what feels safe for me. I'm not on dating apps. I have friends that have great success with dating apps, but that's just not something I'm comfortable with."

Elsewhere in the interview, Tracee said that she has experienced "grief" around not getting married or having children. "As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn't want the wrong partner," she said. "I'm not interested in that. You have to make my life better."