The Worst Celebrity Airplane Behavior

Lead

A few weeks ago, French film star Gérard Depardieu pissed in the aisle on an Air France flight. After drinking what may have been six or seven bottles of wine—he couldn't recall the exact number—he dropped trou and handled business out in the clear. It's easier to believe that he was so twisted he didn't know what he was doing. But when you look at the history of celeb bullshit on airplanes, it seems like there might be something else to this. You start to see a disturbing trend.

Might it be that celebs are so accustomed to getting their way that they begin to assume they can do things like whip it out and pee on a plane without any real repurcusions? Perhaps celebs are just like children. Check out these 10 instances of The Worse Celebrity Airplane Behavior and decide for yourself.

Slater - 1994

Christian Slater

Even in the pre-9/11 world of 1994, you couldn't just board a plane strapped. But this is exactly what CS tried to do at New York's JFK airport on some, "Oh, yeah, that is my unlicensed 9mm. Sorry." Pull something like that now and the TSA will fit a black bag over your head and take you somewhere without windows. But riding high on the success of Interview with a Vampire, Slater moseyed into the airport like a cowboy.

Peter Buck - 2001

Peter Buck

On a flight in 2001 from Seattle to London's Heathrow airport, the guitarist from R.E.M. went H.A.M. But he went H.A.M. in that specific white '90s rock dude fashion, meaning he smashed a container of yogurt whilst yelling a lot. He also flipped over the breakfast cart. Presumably this is where he acquired the yogurt.

Buck claimed to not remember the incident upon waking in a jail cell in the UK. What cocktail made him an enemy to breakfast foods everywhere? Red wine and sleeping pills.

Courtney Love - 2003

Courtney Love

Is there a more unsurprising start to a sentence than "Courtney Love became disruptive"? Sadly, there is not. The disruption in question occurred in 2003 during a flight in which Love would not remain in her seat. Instead of buckling up and shutting up like the rest of us do, Love acted on the impulse we've all had and tried to barge her way into first class.

Courtney Love is America's id.

Mo'Nique - 2006

Mo'Nique

In 2006, Mo'Nique wasn't an Oscar winner but she still got tossed off a flight for harrassing a flight attendant. To hear the actress tell the story, she was not arguing out of a sense of entitlement, though. Apparently Mo'Nique got in the attendant's grill after said attendant tried to prevent Mo'Nique's stylist from stowing a hair dryer in a first-class locker (the stylist was seated in coach, Mo'Nique in first).

We're trying to hear Mo'Nique's side but at the first mention of the word "stylist," our brains melted down.

Fergie - 2007

Fergie

Notorious pisser and first lady of the Black Eyed Peas, Fergie drank a few too many before a flight to the UK in '07. During the boarding process, a fight ensued as the crew tried to inform the Duchess that she was too twisted to be on an airplane. Being twisted, she did not want to hear this. Tabloids caught the rant, describing how Fergie's friends (read: Will.i.am.) held her back. There's no mention of her peeing her pants during this altercation, but given her history, we'll count her guilty until proven innocent.

Clay Aiken - 2007

Clay Aiken

The year is 2007 and American Idol crooner and all around strange looking human Clay Aiken is in between albums. He's also on a flight. He's also asleep, and his legs wind up in the lap of the woman next to him. This raises a number of questions. In what position is he sleeping that this is possible? Has fame and wealth warped Aiken to such a degree that he trundles over the personal space of everyone around him even as he slumbers?

The woman, bless her heart, woke Aiken by punching him in the chest. After an FBI investigation—necessary because the incident occurred on an airplane—no formal charges were pressed. But plenty of women learned they didn't want to sleep next to Clay Aiken.

Naomi Campbell - 2008

Naomi Campbell

"They have lost my fucking bags, get me another flight, get the press, get me my lawyer!"

These are the words of an enraged supermodel in '08 over some missing luggage. Campbell, not someone to be trifled with, earned 200 hours of community service for the epic tongue lashing she delivered to British Airways employees in the wake of the luggage incident. When the police arrived, Campbell turned on them, allegedly spitting on a cop. We're all about resisting the man, but not over missing bags.

Ivana Trump - 2009

Ivana Trump

If you were a child on a flight out of Florida in 2009, there's a chance that Ivana Trump called you a "little fucker." In what has to be a new low for celebrity bullshit, Trump got tossed from her flight after screaming at a couple of kids moving about the aisles on her flight. Trump found them to mischievous and let loose her temper (and that fun phrase). The attendants could not successfully calm her down, and she was removed from the plane as it chilled on the runway. Score one for bratty kids everywhere.

Josh Duhamel - 2010

Josh Duhamel

Oh, you want privilege? How's this: Duhamel, the star of cinematic masterpieces like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Ramona and Beezus got 86'd from a flight to Kentucky in 2010 because he wouldn't turn off his BlackBerry. His BlackBerry.

They asked him once. He refused. They asked him twice—can you imagine the flight attendant's smile stretching to the limit in the face of this idiocy?—and again he would not comply. They asked him a third time and he actually mocked the attendants.

Then the police removed his ass. Have fun on your phone. Can't wait for New Year's Eve, dawg! Looks like they succeeded in making a shittier version of Valentine's Day—we didn't even think that was possible!

Minka Kelly - 2010

Minka Kelly

One of the most recent and also one of the worst: Last year, Minka Kelly, the remarkably untalented (albeit big-bosomed) former arm-fixture of Derek Jeter, cried on her flight to LAX. She sobbed, actually. Like a toddler, she became distraught to such a degree that it took seven flight attendants to talk her down from the hysterical frenzy she'd worked herself into. And this was after she called Jeter, who could not calm her down. Why? What was wrong? Was Kelly suddenly overcome with grief by the shambles the world is in? Earthquake in Haiti, children dying round the clock? The economic crisis? Did she just remember that human suffering goes on everyday and that her show Friday Night Lights, in fact, will not make it stop? Why so sad, Minka?

Because she couldn't bring her cockapoo into first class. That's why.