15 Pizzas That Might Kill You

In honor of Cinnabon's new Pizzabon, more pizza options your heart won't thank you for.

August 20, 2012

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Cinnabon's new Pizzabon is out to send us to early graves. The savory incarnation of Cinnabon's famously gluttonous gob of butter and dough substitutes its trademark gooey white stuff (ayo!) for a mix of cheese and marinara sauce. And, the best/worst part? It’s a "minibon,” which means it's only 3 oz., and clearly made for being tossed back like an M&M.

We can't blame Cinnabon for the people who decide to explode their arteries with the treat (read: Don't sue us!), because we live in a nation overrun by malignant pizzas; this is just the latest assassin out the oven. Take a tour of the most culpable concoctions being sliced up worldwide: 20 Pizzas That Might Kill You.

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Brownie Pizza

Creator: Paula Deen
Calories: n/a, but think about it: This is a pizza made of brownies!

Mac & Cheese Pizza

Creator: Cici's Pizza
Calories: 230 for 1/10 of a 12-inch pizza (and seriously, who among us is strong enough to eat a single slice when they're this tiny?)

10-lb Stuffed Pizza Challenge

Creator: Randy's Wooster St. Pizza Shop
Calories: n/a, but it's safe to say that consuming a 22-inch stuffed pizza in an hour isn't what the doctor ordered.

Grand Prix Cookie Crust Pizza

Creator: Mr. Pizza (South Korea)
Calories: n/a, but the cookie crust and copious toppings speak for themselves.

Classic Deep Dish Pizza

Creator: Uno Chicago Grill
Calories: 2,310 calories for an individual size pizza

Mexican Pizza

Creator: Taco Bell
Calories: 540 per pizza, compounded by the fact that when you're drunk/stoned (the only time anyone ever goes to Taco Bell) you won't be having just one.