President Barack Obama Gets Jizzed on by Frisky Salmon in Alaska

Though President Barack Obamaappears to have avoided the emotional wrath of ingesting urine at the televised behest of Bear Grylls while in Alaska, he wasn't quite as lucky when attempting to create small talk with a local salmon. With spawning season reportedly upon us, the previously standoffish fish quickly proceeded to make several scientific donations onto Obama's shoes. As shown in the clip above, the small talk ceased immediately upon the arrival of the frisky salmon's donations:

Though no specific details regarding the fish's identity have been released, many people are at least one person is speculating that the salmon is in fact a fervent supporter of Donald Trump. As previously reported, Trump recently signed a Republican loyalty pledge in another effort to somehow not go away forever.

In a misguided moment of excitement regarding Trump's announcement that he did plan to remain a Republican candidate so as to completely dismantle the party from the inside out, perhaps the salmon simply had an unhindered moment of Trump enthusiasm. In the year 2015, even unregistered salmon have an urgent political opinion.