After Finishing a "Beer Mile" Race, Grandma Admits Drinking Scotch Would Have Made Her Faster

Grandmothers. When we're not teaching them the language of emoji in an effort to score some Catfish-approved scholarship money, they're teaching us the benefits of drinking (and drinking well) while kicking our respective asses at the 2015 FloTrack Beer Mile World Championships. Elvira "Vera" Montes, an 81-year-old woman from El Paso, beat both her 47-year-old daughter and her son-in-law during the alcohol-charged race earlier this month:

"I'm not a big beer drinker," Montes admitted to the El Paso Times shortly after acing the competition. "I like beer when the weather is real hot and there's nothing else to drink." Montes does, however, enjoy the finer beverages: "I'm really a scotch drinker. Chivas if it's available. If it was scotch we were drinking instead of beer, I would have run a lot faster."

Amazing. For those wondering what exactly a "beer mile" is, My San Antonio has the breakdown:

In addition to being one of the most commendable grandmothers of all time, Montes also became the oldest person to ever finish the Beer Mile. Her time, a commendable 20 minutes and 24.62 seconds, was roughly a minute faster than her daughter's. As for that son-in-law? He reportedly didn't even finish the race.