Gallery: The Many Thoughts of Douchey Alex Rodriguez

Intro

A-Rod lives a pretty damn good life. From dating a number of beautiful women to making a few hundred million in salary, almost $300 million to date, to winning on the regular with the Yankees, Alex Rodriguez, who turns 37 today, has a life most people would kill for.

We all have our flaws though, and A-Rod's is the fact that he looks like a complete douchebag pretty much all the time. The man gets caught looking like a jackass in pictures more than just about anyone on the planet. All the money in the world can't help him brush off that aura of douchiness. So, in light of his birthday, here is a gallery of The Many Thoughts of Douchey Alex Rodriguez.

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8

"I don't always smoke cigars, but when I do, I look like a complete douchebag."

7

"Oh, you thought I was lying?"

10

"Sign a $252 million contract and you too can be hitting something like this on the reg."

3

"What? It's just like rubbing the Buddha's belly."

14

"Recession? Ha!"

15

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

20

"The blonde or the brunette? Ah, fuck 'em both. At the same damn time, at the same damn time!"

19

"The steroids are gone but the gun show goes on."

18

"I make your yearly salary in just one at-bat!"

17

"Who says money can't buy everything?"

16

"Please, tell me more about these so-called 'money problems.'"

13

"Tag me out? I don't think so!"

12

"Did this shirt shrink or did I get bigger?"

11

"I definitely got bigger."

9

"So, you really think Jeter's better looking?"

6

"Who knew free breast exams could feel so good?"

5

"Just a minute, we have to wait till there's a break in the action. The Post is going to eat this shit up. Get it?!"

4

"You, hotter than me? Good one!"

1

"You're looking at me? Well, of course you are."

2

"Now if they can just legalize marriage to oneself..."