Japan Is Very, Very Prepared to Defeat America in a Giant Robot Duel

Like any true digital native, I often lose sleep at night pondering the possibilities of a playful robot battle between indisputable champions in the fieldJapan and my blowhard homeland America. As of Monday morning, such a battle seems to be very close to becoming a reality. Likely high on the fumes of patriotism surrounding the Fourth of July weekend, American robotics company MegaBots issued a formal challenge to Japan's Suidobashi Heavy Industries centered on a proper robot duel:

Thankfully, Suidobashi’s CEO and founder Kogoro Kurata wasted no time issuing a brilliant response (see above). Thoroughly underwhelmed by MegaBots' purpoted advancements in the field of robotics, Kurata requested an escalation of the battle boundaries. "You know what we really need [is] melee combat," posits Kurata. "If we’re gonna win this, I want to punch them to scrap and knock them down to do it."

Though Suidobashi is easily the most bankable bet for the eventual duel, MegaBots co-founder Gui Cavalcanti seems far from deterred by Kurata's ante-upping response. In fact, Cavalcanti issued a statement to Quartz confirming the duel:

Team Japan!